As a writer, one of my goals is to write with real emotion.
It’s not always easy. It is always scary. I can guarantee it’s going to hurt. But it will always be worth it.
Last night I submitted a revised copy of The Forgotten Ones to my editor. This isn’t a story meant to make you cry. It’s meant to take you on a journey of those deep dark secrets families prefer to forget. My goal was to show just how powerful those secrets can be, how damaging they are even when they’re kept to protect. One of the notes my editor made to me was that some of the scenes could go deeper.
At this point in my writing, when I’m told to go deeper, I know I need to become more emotional.
I’m not going to lie. The past 16 months has been the worst I’ve ever experienced within my personal life. I wasn’t sure I ‘could’ go deeper because inside I feel empty, drained, emotionally void. It hasn’t been easy, it’s been challenging and the last thing I wanted to do was go to that ‘place’ in my soul I’ve been protecting so hard these past few months.
I’ve always said that when I write, if a scene doesn’t touch me, doesn’t touch my own heart, then I need to rewrite it. I’ve shared in the past how devastating some scenes have been for me, how I place so much of myself, my heart into my characters that by the time I send that story to my editor, I’m exhausted.
This book is no different. Last night I bawled. It’s been a while since I’ve cried that hard, when I curled into a ball on my bathroom floor because the sobs wracking my body were so heavy, so encompassing that I couldn’t stand anymore. I even shared a little via video afterward, when I was able to talk without breaking down in tears. Warning…I’m not the prettiest of criers…but if I desire to elicit real emotion within my stories, within you as my reader, then you deserve my honesty as well.