It’s Father’s Day today and it’s the first time in 16 years that I haven’t done anything for my husband to make it a special day (other than I got some steaks for a bbq but I’m not cooking them and I had to run to the store anyways).

It’s the first time in 16 yrs that I didn’t make an effort to to be sure I took my kids to the store to get the perfect Father’s Day card or the perfect Father’s Day gift. It’s the first time I didn’t think about what I could buy him to thank him for being an awesome dad or plan a day that is all about him.

I guess you could say in this way it’s a huge #fathersdayfail on my part as a mother and wife.

I have however called my father who lives across the country and talked to him, posted a photo of him on my Facebook feed and wished him a Happy Father’s Day – after all, he’s my father.

My husband is not.

This is the first year I’ve made a conscious decision to step back and give my children the freedom to celebrate this day with their dad, to show him they love him, to buy their own gifts or do whatever they wanted with him today. It’s the first time I didn’t suggest any gifts or remind them constantly to buy him card or hiss at them behind his back that for pete’s sake, can’t you just lay off the attitude for one day with him?

They’re old enough. It’s time this became their responsibility. My oldest – she made him an amazing three tiered cake that was delicious and moist. My middle daughter bought him gifts with her own money (her own money…woo hoo) and my youngest did extra chores around the house for the past month to save up enough to take her dad out on a date. All of these things were thought of, planned and executed without my constant prodding, reminders or guilt trips 🙂 It’s an awesome day!

Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and he is a great father. I even bought him a card to tell him this. But today isn’t about me celebrating my husband for being my husband and for loving our children, today is about my children deciding to be loving or flippant (aka tons of attitude that only teenagers can have) or even force him to head to a crowded mall (something he hates btw).

I’ve done my job these past 16 yrs teaching my kids about showing love, about making today important – at least, I hope I have. It’s time for me to be hands off and let go. And despite being a control freak…I think it’s going a-okay. He loves his gifts, he’s wearing his Captain America/Marvel t-shirt and he’s off to the mall to buy a build-a-bear with our youngest. He’ll be the master of the grill tonight and cook amazing steaks that have been marinating all day and I have no doubt – without any help on my part – he’ll think this was an awesome Father’s Day.

And you know what…there’s no guilt. I can give up in trying to control a situation around me and life doesn’t end. I don’t have to make sure today is perfect, that it’s a memory-making day and then feel like I’ve failed when the kids don’t act or react the way I expect or want them to.

Today isn’t about me at all…so this is me, admitting to my #fathersdayfail or rather to me giving up and letting go.

%d bloggers like this: