From the moment a story idea blooms in our heart and plays out in our mind, there’s a small thread of fear that takes seed in a place we don’t want to acknowledge.

Writing is hard. Publishing is even harder. If you were to ask your favorite author the part of the process they like the least – they might admit it’s those moments before someone reads your book.

When I’m writing a story – the thought of how readers will react is always there, at the back of my mind, but I’m focused on the plot, the characters, the experience. Yes, I write for you – my reader – but first I’m writing for myself. At times I think my writing is amazing. Other times I feel like I’m learning everything from scratch, but while I’m drafting, plotting, revising…I’m able to stay in my own little bubble and can pretend once it’s out there – everyone will love it.

My fear, the one that’s always there, it gets worse just before pub date.

I’m afraid readers won’t like what I’ve written. I’m afraid the book will tank. I’m afraid that what I thought was an awesome story ends up being flat.

Believe in your dreams – if you don’t, no one else will either.

I’m afraid I’ll never be able to write another story that will be good enough for readers to read.

The Patient pulls you in by the heartstrings, plays them like a symphony, then careens toward the surprise finale like a skydiver without a chute.” —August Norman, author of Come and Get Me

Yes, it’s an insecurity. Yes, it’s something I need to work through – every single time I release a book. But it’s there and will always be there.

The Patient doesn’t come out until October 15th but some early readers have access to the book via Netgalley or ARCs, which means – my book is being read.

MY BOOK IS BEING READ!

(INSERT SQUEEL HERE)

My heart is pounding triple time right now. It’s hard to breathe. I keep having to rewrite these words because my fingers aren’t hitting the write right buttons…it’s crazy.

Will you like my book? Will you tell your friends? Will you hate it because it’s so different than my others you’ve read? Did the risk I took in writing The Patient pay off?

“Steena Holmes has returned with another compelling page-turner. [A]n all-encompassing journey through the dark side of the human psyche, The Patient is a mind-bending psychological thriller that will leave readers on edge and gasping for breath right up to the final shocking twist. Brilliant!” —Heather Gudenkauf, New York Times bestselling author of The Weight of Silence and Not a Sound

So far – other than these amazing reviews from two awesome authors – reviews are coming in on Goodreads. I’m ‘thinking’ my book is liked…that the risk I took is paying off…fingers crossed.

Have you added The Patient to your Goodreads shelf? If you’ve read an early copy – all you let me know your thoughts? Did you like it? Hated it? Have thoughts about the story?

I think this secret fear of mine is always going to be there – up until release day when it’s out in the world for everyone and there’s nothing else that I can do.