Writer, Brenda Drake, is hosting an awesome contest on her blog. And the top three winners will win critiques from agent Natalie Fischer from the Bradford Literary Agency. Agent Natalie is looking for strong voice.
Pass up on an offer like this? NO WAY.
Here’s my entry for a commercial fiction called Pink Tiger. I would love it if you wouldn’t mind commenting. I want this to be perfect. This is my REVISED version based on the awesome comments 🙂
Megan reached for the cold metal handle; her hand shook like an addict on withdrawal. Get a grip woman. She’d faced larger giants than the pint-sized ones beyond the gymnasium door. One. She took a breath. Two. The roar of the crowd as it echoed throughout the empty corridors of the school surged towards her, resounding in her ears like the echo of a freight train in an empty station. An explosion of panic threatened to overwhelm her as tiny dots swam in front of her.
Not now. Please God, not now.
Over one hundred children waited inside the gymnasium for her. This was not the time for a panic attack to hit. Megan took a deep breath, her nostrils flared as she wrestled to calm herself. She reached for the handle again, only to have her hand slip. It was drenched in sweat.
Her body trembled as her heart beat thundered in her ears. Dammit, her pills were at home and there wasn’t enough chocolate in her purse to get her through. She pictured Peter’s smug stance this morning when he told her she should just concentrate on being a mom.
Except she was. That’s what he refused to understand.
If she didn’t step through those doors, she’d hate herself forever. One more thing to add to the guilt. Through gritted teeth she yanked open the door and plastered a smile on her face. Jill Maguire, Meadowvale Elementary’s principal, stepped forward and pulled her into a crushing hug.
“I saw today’s paper. I’m amazed at your strength,” she whispered.
Strength had nothing to do with it. The attempted abduction plastered all over the news last night only fueled the fire and determination in Megan’s heart.
She wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs and groaned. Her dry cleaning budget was already over its limit. Anything more and Peter would put her on an allowance. If he dared.